I can’t quite remember when I wrote the below words, think it was when this guy got back in touch and I reflected quite a lot. I was listening to a lot of ‘Daffodil Days’ to make me remember good times – because sometimes even though you want to play somebody at their own game, it ain’t easy.
I’m someone who doesn’t really connect if music doesn’t make me feel something. I’ll listen to Beyoncé’s ‘Formation’ to avoid panic attacks on my way home from work or to Elliott Smith’s ‘Stupidity Tries’ when I’d like to indulge in positively sad feelings. Oscar’s debut is almost a collection of songs that made me feel something over the past year or so.
Apparently this track came to be because of autocorrect and isn’t about daffodils but depression instead. I listened to it constantly throughout may 2015. I just moved house, tried to be interested in other people than this (now former) on/off guy who’s the sort of guy to told me he really liked me only to take home another girl the week after. I felt really good. And the one time I made former on/ off guy listen to Daffodil Days he said he liked it but he didn’t get it and I couldn’t listen to it for a while after
This so reminds me of the “break up” not that it was one as we weren’t even dating. But I made it clear I wanted more and he told me that “good things will happen” for me. Don’t know why he thought that good things didn’t already happen to me. Or maybe he just thought I’d forever be the girl broken by her ex boyfriend’s suicide.
Breaking My Phone
Of course there’s always draw backs. Former onn/off guy is on/off guy for a reason. So I did ofc fall back. The song title reminds me of those times I didn’t get a text back and one thing me and my friends always said is: he’s either dead or his phone’s broken (as a joke ofc)
Feel It Too
This one basically fits with fifteen. Sort of the “optimistic” feeling part. Whenever I saw former on/off guy there was a connection. It’s a weird one, because why liking somebody who’s shit? I have no answer – only that I never wanna do it again.
This was the day after… Every time he’d make me feel shit. Even when I tried to be cool about stuff. I have extreme fear of loss. Fifteen described this situation perfectly for me somehow. It sits between extreme “love” like feelings and extreme sad and depressive feelings.
Let’s say I wasn’t in a good place for a while.